I am so excited.
Seriously.
I’m also a little nervous.
I want to share this with you but sharing this in such a public space is scary because the ‘truest’ things about us seem to be most fragile to criticism.
At my core I find myself to be a dreamer. One of my favorite things over the past few years has been showing up to a particular location and asking the Lord, “What do you dream for this place Lord? What do you want to do here?”
I love seeing His heartbeat for how He wants to make himself known in a given setting. And I absolutely love to step into that place of dreaming with Him!
If you know me well you know that this often takes place between He and I and a big white board. It’s like He starts to download vision and themes and even the plan to walk it out. I see how people and resources come together to ultimately fit into His heartbeat and then I love to mobilize others, with such beautiful and varied giftings than my own, out into the plan.
This is my favorite.
This is what I want to do. Not because I want the control, not because it’s giving me any sense of identity or worth but because literally out of all the things I’ve done with my life, that space feels truer and more fun and natural than anything else. I know I’m not the full picture- and I don’t want to be. We corporately, as the body of Christ, carry beautiful reflections of Him in our giftings and personality and wiring and when we operate in unity each empowered and freed up to walk in our giftings, I believe we can change the world.
Since returning to the States about a year ago I’ve been on an internal roller coaster of ‘what’s next?’ Should I figure out a career, should I try to plant and settle somewhere, should I go back and get my Masters etc. All of these swimming around in me pulling me in different directions, yet my heart remains captivated by this simple life vision: knowing Him deeply and leading others to know Him deeply. It’s like setting up in a big float in the lazy river of intimacy with Him and simply waiving others in. “Come on it, the water is fine.”
I just cannot deny how alive and awakened I feel in the deepest places in me when I am freed up to step into that outdoor classroom with Jesus and ask, “what are you up to here and what does it look like to partner with you.”
I don’t know what to do with this other than give it right back to the Lord. “Here, Lord. Here are my hopes and dreams. Here are the deepest longings within me. Have your way.”
This morning after the sweetest dream about Guatemala I heard the faintest whisper say, “It’s time to go.”
I’m going to spend several days alone with the Lord and seek clarity on that. Go where? Not sure:)
But I know this story isn’t over!
