I'm back in my hometown this season and holy cow- it is SO hard. It's like returning to a land long sense abandoned.

Ok- here is some imagery. You know in the Lion King (yes- we're going there) when Scar is running the show and the pridelands are dark and desolate and dying? There is no life. And then Simba has to come back and fight this crazy battle to take back that land which is rightfully his? 

You see where I'm going with this... 

That is where I feel like I am. I left this place and my past years ago and have been dancing around the Kingdom in far away lands and now that I'm back looking out over the landscape of this land- my heart is overwhelmed with grief.

Ugh. It's STILL here. It's still more than I can handle. I still have the 1000+ questions in my heart and mind and soul of "what happened here?"

This is the deepest and hardest season of redemption I've ever encountered. If I'm honest, I feel despair and exhaustion when I look out over the land. There is so much pain. So much chaos. So much death. 

I wonder how long Simba stood there on the fringes of his land before the courage set in and he remembered his true identity and authority over that place? What was his strategy? How did he ask for and recruit his team to help fight the battle ahead? (I wouldn't mind a warthog and meerkat as travel companions in this thing called life...)

But he did it. Eventually he remembered the power of his father that he carried. He stepped into his voice and into his authority and he took that land back. 

I know that I've been created to take ground back from the enemy. I know that God has created me with a bold yet gentle voice. I know and have tasted what it means to walk in that authority and position- simply channeling the Christ in me. 

But dang. This season. 

But hear the promise:

"I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten." Joel 2:25

So may I press harder into faith. He who has promised is faithful.