You’ve Got to Be Tenting Me

Do you ever know, without a shadow of a doubt, where you are supposed to be? 

Sometimes I do. Many other times I am left grasping for whatever makes the most logical sense. But this season I know for sure that I am supposed to be in Antigua Guatemala. 

(So maybe this is the view out of the back of our house.. no big deal. Just a couple volcanoes!)

Things have been a little crazy since arriving almost a week ago. Gabe, the other new person to the team, and I deplaned to a team genuinely excited to see us. It was so sweet to see their sincere welcome after all the unknowns leading up to departure. New family! 

So things are looking good, we jump in the van and head through Guatemala city towards Antigua. Once we arrived at the house we got a very quick tour and then our leaders took us outside to the backyard and pointing to a couple of tents and said, "here's your new home." 

Yep. Gabe and I were isolated from the team that we just met for about two and half days. Why? To give us some intentional time alone for us to connect with the Lord without outside distractions. The team wasn't allowed to interact with us and we weren't really allowed to interact with them or each other. 

It was hard but so good. It was hard to feel isolated and almost unwanted by the team (although that definitely wasn't true). The Lord had to really lead me through some insecurities and frustrations. Although that was a bit of a fight at times, tent time was also so full of rest. To just do nothing for a couple of days and decompress. No people, no phones or computers; no emails or to-do lists. Nothing to do, nothing to prove. Just a time to rest and be with Jesus. Yes please!

Gabe and I have officially been in the house with the rest of the team for a couple of days now and it has been interesting. Part of me longs for the tent again because it was a lot easier to hide my sin and junk being outside separate from the team; the other part of me absolutely realizes how good it is to be inside in close quarters with this team that we might be "iron" to one another. They are a pretty incredible group of folks:)

Before coming to Guatemala God was pretty clear about this season in my life and His intentions. I've mentioned before this theme of intimacy that God is speaking. Well, yep. That's his heart. His method? A lot of painful exposure. He has revealed so many false identities, control issues, and walls that I've operated out of for years. Crap. 

But it isn't hopeless. Not if I fix my eyes on Him, the author and perfecter of my faith. He will give me the grace to get through the process of unlearning so many things as He leads me deeper into His vast love for me. In that space, change cannot help but occur. Being conformed to His image.. so good!

Keep praying! For now please pray that the voice of the Lord would be louder than anything else. Louder than my voice, louder than the voices of others, and louder than the enemy. Pray that I would be free of distractions and that I would chose to listen. I don't want to walk into anything that He himself hasn't authored and I don't want to get in the way of His work here.

"Keep up your work Lord. May we know more and more what is the height, width, breadth and depth, of your love and may we sit in your presence for as long as you'll have us."