The Orphaned

The Story

Imagine that this story is about you and then know that it is certainly about thousands in Guatemala who have been orphaned by the civil war.

 

I grew up alone. I grew up thinking that no one could possibly love me. I remember looking around once as I child when I needed food, or shelter, or protection and I remember the moment I realized I was alone in the world. If I was going to eat- I would have to figure it out. A safe place to sleep? It’s on me. I had no other choice but to survive. I did what I felt I had to. I stole.. I manipulated. I became bitter and harsh.

I put up giant walls all around me to keep others out. I did what I had to to protect myself from others and the rejection or abandonment I was sure would come. Instead of vulnerability being a thing of beauty it was a liability. It was a glitch in the security system that could not be risked. I had to be tough. I ran to anything I could to numb the pain inside. To keep it hidden in the deep, dark recesses of my soul. 

At the same time, I exerted so much energy trying to be what others needed or wanted me to be so that on some level I could feel loved or wanted. If I’m good at this.. or successful at that. Then I’ll be worthy of love. If I make enough money or I am a good enough friend, or a good enough athlete. Maybe then I’ll be worthy of love. 

Underneath it all I was deeply longing for a family. Deeply longing for someone to see me fully and to love and accept me. Longing for a place to call home. For the safety and security found underneath the covering of love. I was longing for someone to tell me,

I see you- fully and completely- the brokenness and the pain and the doubts. And I am not ashamed of you. I love you, my child. Come in and rest.

I didn’t know. But now I do. And I’ve found rest and safety and security and acceptance that I never knew existed. I am a son. And I am free in my Fathers love.

 

This is real

That longing is universal. It is what we all were created for. Intimacy with our Father. We were created to belong to a giant and awesome family. To find our stability and security in His love. We were created to live and thrive in the childlike innocence that we all, on some level, must admit we’ve lost to the gnashing teeth of the fallen world around us.

But it’s time. He’s calling His children home. This includes me. It includes you. Come home. The table is big enough. He’s already done everything required to bring you home safe.  Just say yes.

 

This is what He is doing in Guatemala. Stay tuned to hear how!